What started as IDC (Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma) in 2011, then turned into CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) in 2013, probably partially caused by chemotherapy along with a genetic pre-disposition. Here we are now in March 2016 and I am newly diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in the left breast and liver (LMBC - liver metastasized breast cancer).

So the focus has shifted yet again, BUT... I continue to THANK YOU for your prayers, love & support. I receive them with open & loving arms. My wish is that I will gain strength from you, will provide helpful information and strength to others & will help to strip away the fears we each experience.

I am strong. I am loved. I am healthy. I WILL SURVIVE!

Have you or your loved one had their annual mammogram? PLEASE, don't put it off. Speaking from experience, I highly recommend monthly self exam as well. And if you are now cancer free of breast cancer, do everything you can to insist that your doctors follow up with an occasional PET Scan and labs for tumor markers.

Contents may be uplifting, sad, funny, scary, downright depressing ~ THAT IS CANCER .... at it's best, at its worst.

PLEASE ~ Feel free to share this blog with anyone who is interested to learn about my journey. While I welcome their support, I hope that by sharing this experience freely to the universe I may help to support others by breaking down some of the barriers and fear associated with breast cancer and the treatment.


Monday, January 10, 2011


Bazooka ~ The first day I was diagnosed, Mark disappeared for a moment over to the dining room where our small farm store is located. He returned with this pink alpaca teddy bear for me from our shop. After Sarah described her as bubble gum colored, Mark and I named her Basooka. She sits with me in the living room, while I read and spin. She has gone with me to each appointment since that day, waiting me in the car to bring back a snippet of good news to her after my appointment.

It’s 8 am on Monday, January 10th 2011, and we have slept in a bit. I’m up, just barely, and the phone rings. I rush to it, and the Pathologist is on the phone and the first thing he says is, “I’m sorry...” As he’s talking, Mark jumps up and runs to be next to me. He knows what this is all about because we have been waiting since the Thursday biopsy for some news.

The Pathologist must have said it 15 times during the call, “I’m sorry”... sorry to be calling you but your doctor is in surgery most of the day, sorry to tell you this over the phone but you called several times on Friday asking for a call.... sorry to tell you that you have breast cancer..... sorry.... sorry”. I’M SORRY! MARK IS SORRY! THIS SUCKS!!

So, after some immediate sobs, I thank the Pathologist and ask him to repeat what he has said to me so I can write it down... Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma. He tells me that samples have been sent to another lab to test for hormone receptivity and those will take about a week. “Your doctor will be calling you soon, but he is in surgery right now.” I get off the phone, and think he also said something like “invasive”. What the F___! This does not sound like something I am willing to hear or accept right now.

So Mark and I hug, we cry, we wonder, we worry, we hug some more, we cry some more. This sucks some more.

Of course, when you get a call like this you are ready to charge into action. I’m thinking, “WHAT NEXT?” and yes... I’m shouting it. Let’s get in to see that doctor right now, let’s get this “stuff” out of me. Hurry. hurry... no time to waist.

We spend the day calling the girls, and doing research. I call my doctor’s office to learn he will be in surgery most of the day but will call in and they’ll have him call me today. Later they call to say he is not comfortable calling me until he has the written report of diagnosis, so it will be tomorrow morning.

So we wait some more and wonder, and worry, and read, and research. Sarah tells me she will come up tomorrow and spend the day with me, which puts a huge smile on my face.

I’m reluctant to tell anyone else until I have more information....


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