What started as IDC (Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma) in 2011, then turned into CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) in 2013, probably partially caused by chemotherapy along with a genetic pre-disposition. Here we are now in March 2016 and I am newly diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in the left breast and liver (LMBC - liver metastasized breast cancer).

So the focus has shifted yet again, BUT... I continue to THANK YOU for your prayers, love & support. I receive them with open & loving arms. My wish is that I will gain strength from you, will provide helpful information and strength to others & will help to strip away the fears we each experience.

I am strong. I am loved. I am healthy. I WILL SURVIVE!

Have you or your loved one had their annual mammogram? PLEASE, don't put it off. Speaking from experience, I highly recommend monthly self exam as well. And if you are now cancer free of breast cancer, do everything you can to insist that your doctors follow up with an occasional PET Scan and labs for tumor markers.

Contents may be uplifting, sad, funny, scary, downright depressing ~ THAT IS CANCER .... at it's best, at its worst.

PLEASE ~ Feel free to share this blog with anyone who is interested to learn about my journey. While I welcome their support, I hope that by sharing this experience freely to the universe I may help to support others by breaking down some of the barriers and fear associated with breast cancer and the treatment.


Friday, August 26, 2011

I dodged a bullet, isnt this great...

At one moment I'm thinking, I dodged a bullet, isnt this great, I feel so wonderful. But then reality hits.

When I went in for my Radiation Teach appointment earlier this month, the nurse sent me home with a DVD to watch. It was very helpful. I mean, after all, I've been thinking all is okay, life is wonderful, radiation is easy, heck I got by with a lumpectomy, chemo sucked but it is over, I guess I dodged a bullet and now I can just get on with being a new grammie and loving life. Then the video chronicled 3 to 4 women who have survived breast cancer and how it has changed their lives and continues to change their lives. But more importantly how it doesn't just all end once treatment ends.

I know that this is not over and done with. But I want it to be over and done with. I know there is still scary stuff to face, like the Femara for five years (if I choose to do it). And I know there will be the fear each time I get ready for a new mammogram or scan or some test. I know there is fear of some sort of body damage from chemo and radiation that may arise at some point later in my life. I know... I know.... I KNOW. 

But for now, I will go on and live my life as a Grammie. I will deal with the rest of it as it rears its beautiful or ugly head. I will take one step at a time, one day at a time. one foot in front of the other. I will change as I need when I need, and I will remain the same as it suits me and my situation. I will research what I need to for the decisions I still have yet to make. I will say those Hail Marys and Our Fathers as I need them. I will meditate when I want, and recite positive mantras when I need them. I will still have a glass of wine when I am with my friends and just want to do so. I will cry when it suits me and I can't hold it back anymore, as that is something that has always come easily and freely and often when I don't want it to. And, I guess, I will just be me, whatever that is. And however that may change. And hopefully I will be around for many more years, to see little Nicolas grow and mature, and Sarah's yet-to-be-born son do the same.

And meanwhile, I will put the steroid cream on to help with the redness, tenderness and itchyness resulting from day 19 of radiation. Only 14 more to go!  :-)

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior; AND Survivor 


1 comment:

  1. My dearest friend,
    Your words are so powerful. I feel you so deeply as I absorb your energy through your written words.I can only empathize and imagine what you must be experiencing on a daily basis.I offer you the following excerpt from a book I read which I copied and posted on my bathroom mirror as a means to ground me in the moment every morning and whenever I need to read it for inspiration.
    "I do not worry about the past and I am not fearful of the future because my life is supremely concentrated in the PRESENT and the right response comes to me, to every situation, as it occurs."
    " This is the state of Bliss"
    I love you dearly my most wonderful friend


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